Two Poems- Maybe a Set

Have I been reading too much Bukowski? Which is to say, are these too bleak? Should I keep them as a pair? In the second poem, should/could the word “gladiators” be changed for “combatants.” Any and all comments are welcome.

Washington Heights, and Washington Heights Internal 

your hand shook and
the cup of change
followed suit. The sound
of broken glass shattering
my daydream.
“Hey motherfucker,”
nothing but stone on steel,
“spare some change?”
your voice a flint underwater.

I hope madness takes me
before anything is to go.
The homeless woman,
laughing at the trains passing by,
so happy to have her feet up
on the seat.

I could do
that.

Taking Inventory: Union Sq. Park 

hair fading from the tip like
snow peaked mountains of black, black
earth. the voyage of a green tabletop
leading to the green shirt of a much
younger man. Between the two:
a parcheesi board, speckled with
brown and white gladiators and the
blurred apparition of two sets of hands.
the dice are rolled. moves are made.
from me: silence.

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Kŏngjù hé ài shì jīlì: Revision Suggestions?

Hello there!

I choreographed this piece this past semester and I’ve been given the opportunity to submit it in the Florence Dance Festival in Italy this July.  There will be a newly composed score and the costumes colors have been changed to nude.

Do you have any suggestions in regards to anything and everything?  What is the mood? What does it convey?  Where is the setting? Any criticism is helpful.

All My Love

let’s get the ball rolling

I’d love to get some feedback on this poem! I’m specifically wondering if the sort of internal rhyme scheme works or is apparent, but then also any other feedback as well.

in the last apartment 
at the end of the island
carving beams out from the fog,
after the trains have started
to whisper and the fireflies
fallen asleep, when even the waves
kiss the beach with less breath,
when even the beach
kisses back with less stone

then, alone, there is a last light
still on, closing in
its distance from me, walking
over the water and calling
my name, and behind it

is you.